四个毕业生

很喜欢这一段，在便利店买东西结账听到喜欢的歌，女生完全不顾形象的摇头晃脑跳到嗨，男生一脸嫌弃，似乎脸上写着我认识她们吗？天呐，这就是青春啊！

记录朋友和自己的生活从毕业开始，原来那个时候就有了vlog。在莉莲娜看完她记录的短片被别人商业剪辑而变成了低俗的东西时，她会头也不回的选择离开。可以看出彼此在彼此心中的重要性和无法取代的地位。

莉莲娜和Troy的争吵中，都故意说出激烈尖酸刻薄的言语来刺激对方。23岁的爱情似乎很容易改变，以自我为中心，自私，不懂得包容，无所畏惧的说出自己最真实的想法，这也是最真诚无价的。

最爱的两段对话

“You see ,Lainie ,this is all we need…a couple of smokes ,a cup of coffee…And a little bit of conversation .You and me and five bucks.”

(你看，这就是我们需要的全部，几根烟，一杯咖啡和一些对话。你，我，还有五块钱。)

像好友像恋人

L :"i was really gonna be something by the of twenty-three."

(我真想在23岁做出点成绩。)

T :"honey ,all you have to be by the age of twenty-three is youself. "

(亲爱的，在23岁时你需要做的是你自己。)

L :"i don't know who that is anymore ."

(我都不知道自己是谁了。)

T :"Well ,i do .And we all love her .I love her .She breaks my heart again and again but ,um…but i love her ."

(那么，我知道。而且我们都爱她，我爱她。她一次又一次伤我的心，但是，我爱她。)

电话账单如烟灰般飘落
像纪录片的开始那缕流苏
和一整个学生时代

那是
加油站超市里的摇摆
5块钱的咖啡和烟
答案我不知道?

所以早上好,毕业生们
接受恶心的笑
找个男友

那是
pizza被切成几块
终于说出的话
答案是血盆大口

门廊内外
青草或阳光都无关
找不到的词语

那是
迟到的孩子终于长大
早退的激情听见火车汽笛
其实没有答案

我是有多闲……nn——————————我是分割线————————————nnAnd they wonder why n大人们很疑惑nthose of us in our twenties...n为什么我们这些二十出头的年轻人nrefuse to worknan 80-hour week... n拒绝每周工作80小时njust so we can affordnto buy their BMWs...n只为了买得起他们生产的宝马汽车nwhy we aren't interested...nin the counterculturen对他们发明的反流行文化不感冒nthat they invented...nas if we did not see themndisembowel their revolution...nfor a pairnof running shoes.n我们只从中看到了他们从这次革命的硕果是一对跑鞋nBut the question remains...n但问题依然存在nwhat are we going to do now?n我们现在要干什么？nHow can we repair all the damagenwe inherited?n我们如何能够修复所有这些从上一辈留下来的破坏？nFellow graduates,n我亲爱的毕业生同伴们nthe answer is simple.n答案很简单nThe answer is...n答案就是nThe answer is...n答案是……nI don't know.n我也不知道nGood save, Lelaina.n救得好哦，LelainanI'm not a valedictorian,n我不是毕业致辞的优生nbut I play one on TV.n但我在电视上演了一个nWe all know you slept your waynto the podium.n我们都知道你是一路睡上去领奖台的nMy favorite part aboutngraduating now would be..n我最喜欢的毕业的部分是ndodging my student-loan officernfor the rest of my life.n以后可以永远躲着学生贷款经理nHe will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy...nwho's been after my ass for years.n他可以勾搭那个跟在我屁股后边好些年的哥伦比亚唱片公司的家伙nTroy Dyer, I brought you back a souvenir.nTroy Dyer，我给你带了个纪念品nAh...nYou know, you can still go back next year and graduate...n你知道，你明年依然可以回去再毕业一次nstill get your BF.A.n拿一个艺术学士学位nOh, can I? And then I can hang this on my rearview mirror...n噢行吗？然后我就可以把这挂在我的后视镜上nto brag to all my good buddies back home that I graduated.n跟老家那些小伙伴吹嘘炫耀我毕业了nWell, I through with the whole life drama.n我的人生走向了巅峰nWell, I know this sounds cornball...n我知道听起来有点不知天高地厚nbut I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives.n但我真的想在改变人类生活上 有一点作为nAnd I... I would like to buy them all a Coke.n我呢，我想给他们每人每一杯可乐nAnd you wonder why we never got involved.n难怪我们从来没有擦出火花nThree words... November sixteenth nineteen-ninety...n三个字，11月16日，199……nOh, totally drunkn噢，完全是喝醉了、发酒疯nand out of my mind!nIt would have been a poetic experience...n其实可能是一次诗意的体验nif I weren't such a gentleman, which I am.n如果我当时不那么绅士nJust let it go, Dyer.n忘了吧，TroynSurrender the fantasy.n别做梦了nHey, Sammy,n喂，Sammynwhat's your goal?n你的目标是什么？nMy goal is to...n我的目标是……nLike a career or something.n事业上的或者其他的目标都可以nLainie, I think the moment has been appropriately captured.nLainie，我想你已经很好地捕捉了这些宝贵瞬间了nWould you please take your face out of the camera?n能否请你放下你的录像机？nCome on. It's for my documentary.n别这样，这是为了我的纪录片nHer...Documentary.n她的纪录片nThink fast.n快速思考一下nHere's the dealn你看这样行不行.nI'm going to take Sam against his will...nand straighten him outn我计划要将Sam掰直，不管他愿不愿意nbecause I truly believe...that if we can get two women on the Supreme Court...n我确信，既然我们能把2个女人送上最高法院nwe can get at least one on you, Sam.n那我们至少能够给Sam找到一个nI'm Superman.n我是超人n-I can fly.n我能飞n-She's toast.n她要完了nAah!nQuick, Vickie.n快说，VickienWhat's your social security?n你的社会保障号是多少？nUh... 851-25-9357.nVery impressive.n厉害！nIt's the only thing I really learned in college.n这是我在大学唯一学会的东西nSometimes I get that "not so fresh" feeling.n有时候，我觉得自己不再年轻nConjunction junction,nwhat's your function?nHooking up wordsnand phrases and clausesnConjunction junction,nhow's that function?nGot three favorite carsnthat get most of my...nHoney, honey. No, no, no.n亲爱的，不不不nIs yours good?n你的好吃吗nIt doesn't seem fresh.n吃着不新鲜nI'm sorry.n抱歉nWell, I guess it's about time...for me to give you your graduation present, huh?n现在，我该送出你的毕业礼物了nYour... gas card.n你的汽油卡nI'll pay that bill for one year.n我会支付一年的汽油账单nAnd since Helen Anne's got herself a brand-new Infinity...n同时，因为Helen Anne买了一辆新的因菲尼迪nwe're gonna give you her old BMW.n所以，她旧的宝马车就归你了nYou can pick it up at our house.n你待会可以来我们家取车n-BMW? BMW?n宝马？宝马？n-Yeah.n是呀nTom, didn't you listen to her speech today?nTom，你今天没有听到她的演讲吗？nShe didn't want a BMW.n她不想要宝马nMom, I'll handle this.n妈妈，我来处理nI'm not gonna sit here and listen again...to some strange ethical argument about a damn car.n我不想坐在这里，再听一次关于一辆车的奇葩道德争论nNow, it's got four wheels.n来，这辆车有四个轮子，走得很好nIt runs well.nAnd, little darling, after you've been...in the real world for a while...n我的小宝贝，当你进入真实世界之后nyou're gonna appreciate that car.n你会很感激自己有一辆车nYeah. Just think of all those starving children in Africa...who don't even have cars.n是呀，想一想那些吃不饱的非洲儿童，他们就没有车nTroy, does your father give you gifts like that?nTroy，你的爸爸会送你那样的礼物吗？nMom.n妈妈nWell, actually, my father's dying of prostate cancer...n事实上，我爸爸现在处于癌症晚期nso I don't really trouble him much for gifts.n所以我不想因为礼物而去打扰他nSee, Tom.n看看，TomnYou don't want a BMW.n你不想要一辆宝马nTell him, Lelaina.n告诉他，LelainanCharlane, she can make up her own mind.nCharlane，她能自己做决定nDad, don't talk to her that way.n爸爸，别这样的语气跟她说话nShe's not a child.n她不是小孩nWell, she married one.n她嫁的是nWhat? All right. Excuse me.n你说什么？好，抱歉nCome on, come on.n别这样，别这样nMom, Dad, I'll take the BMW...until I can afford to buy a regular car myself, OK?n妈妈、爸爸，这辆宝马我要了，等我有能力时我会再买一辆新的，好吗nOK, Mom? Please? Mom, please, come on.n妈妈，好不好？拜托了，别这样nGet a Ford.n买福特吧nSINGING:nJust to float on the seanFind myself on a page of historynYou know, as I ride alongnI can always hear the songnabout younand where you're meant to benWell, you're gonnantell me the answersnI'll know when youncome back to menIf we should fall,nlove will catch us every timenI hear you call, I will runnAnd if the magicnof the adventure overcomesnWe won't cry,nbecause it could be funnWell, I'm gonnantell you the answersnYou'll know when youncome back to menGonna be all rightnWhen you come back to mennGood morning!n早安！nGood morning!n早安！nHa ha ha ha!nYes. Good morning,n早安！nladies and... gentleman!n女士们，还有先生们nI see a gentleman right over there!n我看到一位先生坐在那儿！nGood morning!n早安nGood morning!n早安nBoy, I tell you...n告诉你们nit is a good morning with this audience.n今天这是一个好日子nHa! Well, today, for all you dieters...n哈哈，好，今天，给所有节食者带来的福利nguiltless goodies from chef Skinny Ninny.n是大厨瘦金妮做的好吃不肥腻的食物nWhoa. Mmm!nAnd we'll also be visiting with a man...right here from Houston who is battling Alzheimer's.n以及，我们还会离开休斯顿，去拜访一个与阿尔茨海默病抗争的男人nA beautiful and touching story...of the triumph of the human spirit.n这是一个人类意志胜利的感人美好故事nHe's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers.n真恶心，简直无法直视nNow let's take a peek inside our "Video View"...n现在先睹为快nand see what we have in store for today.n看看今天节目的精华内容nIt's a special report on children's birthday party themes...taped on location...at 8-year-oldnDavy Robbins' party...exclusively for our "Video View" collection.n这是关于儿童生日会的特别报道n拍摄于8岁的Davy Robbin的生日会上，特别为我们节目录制的nHa ha ha!nSo... come sit with me.n现在，和我一起坐下来nRelax.n放松nHave a cup of joe.n喝杯咖啡nOh, shit. Oh, shit.n糟糕！nWell, anyway, it's gonna be a good day. Good morning!n嗯，好吧，今天是个好日子，早安！nYou're beautiful. n你真美nWe're clear.n我们说清楚nAm I here to amuse you, Miss Pierce?nPierce小姐，我是来供你取乐的吗？nAm I here to make you laugh?n我是来引你发笑的吗？nIs that the real reason I'm on this show?n这就是我主持这档节目的原因？nMr. Gubler, when I prepare your note cards...nGubler先生，我给你准备提词纸时nyou're supposed to get your own espresso.n你本应自己准备你的咖啡nDidn't you get my "espress yourself" memo?n你没看到我留言给你的便签吗？nI don't have time for your little mind games.n我没那么多时间玩你的猜谜游戏nI'd like to remind you...that we're laying people off around here.n提醒你一句，我们这儿正在削减人手nI can find an intern who will do your job for free like that.n我随便就能找到一个免费实习生来接替你的活nSINGING:nI been locked outnI been locked innBut I always seemnto come back againnAnd the view, when I looknfrom my window...nOh, that's a much better size.nThat looks great.nThat would go really wellnwith the EZ-Fits.nSo... Oh, buttoning it up.nThat's even better.nYeah, roll 'em right up.nIt's liberating, isn't it?nI boughtna toothbrush, some toothpastenA flannel for my facenPajamas, a hairbrushnnew shoes, and a casenI said to my reflectionnLet's get out of this placenPast the church and the steeplenThe laundry on the hillnMurder, there's one committedneach 7 seconds.nHello. I got cut off.nI'm sorry.nTempted by the fruit of anothernWaa waanHello? What?n你好？什么？nTempted, but the truth is discoverednNo, no, no.n不不不nListen, he needs us, OK?n听着，他需要我们，OK？nIf he makes videos, we show them, OK?n他制作片子，我们放映片子，好吗？nIt's symbiotic. It's like a "chicken or the egg?"n大家是共生的关系，就像“鸡和鸡蛋”nIt's both of them working together.n他们两方要一起合作nYeah, uh-huh.nWell, let me tell you something.n好，我跟你说nNo, no, no.n不不不nI'm not scared of...n我不是害怕……nJesus!n天哪！nAah!nMAN ON TELEPHONE:nMichael, don't laugh at me.nMichael，不要取笑我nWhat?n什么？nNo, I'm in an accident.n不，我遇到意外了nI got in an accident.n我出车祸了nYeah, I'm fine.n不，我没事nNo. I'll call you back, all right?n不，我待会打给你，好吗nI'm gonna call you...n我会打给你nWhen you said you would sue...n你刚说你会起诉……nWell, it's not really my idea.n那不是我的主意nIt's just I got my lawyer guy telling me, you know...n只是我的律师跟我说的nsomething, like, about my rates or...n这跟纳税有关nRight. You mean, like sue in a courtroom for money?n对。你是说，要上法庭去起诉索偿？nI don't even know...n我也不知道nbecause I've never really done anything like this before.n我也没遇过这种事情nI mean, do you have a lawyer or something?n你有没有律师吗？nNo, I don't have a lawyer.n不，我没有律师nI don't have a dentist.n我连牙医都没有nI'm... You know, I make four-hundred dollars a week.n我，我每周的周薪只有400块nWhat do you do?n你是做什么的？nWell, at the moment, I'm working...n现在，我在做……nI'm sorry.n抱歉nI just... I got to...Hello.n我要……你好nYeah. What is it?n是的，什么事？nYou know, I don't care...n你知道，我不在乎……nif she does twelve books of herself naked, OK?n她出了12本裸体写真集，好吗？nIt doesn't...n不是……nThat's Dr. Zaiusn那是Zaius博士，《人猿星球》里面的nfrom "Planet of the Apes. "nOh.n哦nI'm sorry. No.n抱歉，不nSomeone else is in here.n有人在这儿nYeah? Well, let her say that to me.n是吗？那好，让她自己来跟我说n-No, don't do that.n不，别那样n-Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.n噢，抱歉，抱歉nNo, no. You can...n不不，你可以……nThat's all right...n没关系nI was... Go ahead.n我只是……没事nYou want to touch it?n你想碰他吗？nIt's all right.n没事nYeah. No, go ahead.n是，不，请便nNo, I was talking to...n不，我是在跟她说……nLook, can I talk to you later?n这样，我待会打给你好吗？nCan we... When? OK. OK.n我们能否……几时？好，好nUm... OK.nUm... uh...nYou know what?n这样吧nJust forget it.n忘了这件事nReally, just forget the whole thing...n这件事就一笔勾销吧nbecause it was probably my fault anyway.n因为这件事很可能会判是我的错nAnd I'll get in trouble,and it just doesn't...n然后我会惹上麻烦……nAnd you seem very sweet.n你长得也很甜美nAnd you seem to like Dr. Zaius.n你貌似也很喜欢Zaius博士nOh. Ha ha.n-Oh, no.n-That's...nI'm sorry.n抱歉nThat's... He was just a collector's... No big...n他，他只是一个收藏家的……没关……nWell, we can...n-You know what?n这样吧n-No, here's his head.n不，这是他的头nIt's really... you know...I think he's gone.n我想他已经不行了……nI'm, like, ruining your whole life here.n我，我好像毁掉了你的生活nNo, no, you're not. Really.n不不，你没有，真的nJust don't... Just don't touch anything else...and I think we'll be fine.n只是，不要再碰其他东西就好……nMichael Grates, vice president regional programming..."In Your Face" TV.nMichael Grates，区域制片，副总裁，"In Your Face" 电视台nWe've seen it.n我们看过nIt's like MTV, but with an edge.n跟MTV差不多，但更犀利一点n-Yeah. So, is it a date?n所以，是约会吗？n-Yeah, yeah.n是，是n-Dinner?n晚餐？n-Coffee.n咖啡n-Coffee or cappuccino?n咖啡还是卡布奇诺？n-He ended up saying decaf.n他说的是脱因咖啡nOh, no. Early night.n噢不，傍晚nIs there any precoffee activity?n有什么喝咖啡前可以做的活动吗？nUm... I don't think so.n我不知道nDid he ask you to go out or to hang out?n他约你时说的是“出来玩一下”还是“出来见一下”nGo out.He definitely said go out.n出来玩。他肯定说的是这个词nHey. How are you doing?n嗨，你怎样了？n-Oh, shit.n我擦n-What? I forgot to tell you something.n我忘了跟你说了nAre you out of your mind?n你疯了吗nOh, my god. Lainie, he just got fired from the newsstand.n天哪，Lainie，他刚刚才被报摊炒鱿鱼了nHe needs a place to stay till he can find a new job...and get his own place.n他需要一个地方落脚，直到他找到新工作，还有新的住处nVickie, that's the American dream of the nineties.nVckie，这是90年代的美国梦nThat could take years.n要等好多年才能实现nLook at it like a built-in security system.n把他当成是内嵌的安保系统nWe'll have a man around the house.n房子里有个男人挺好的nWe'll have a hall monitor.n我们会多了一个厅长nThat's what we'll have.n我们只会有厅长nI don't even know if this is allowed in the building.n我甚至不知道在这栋楼里是否被允许这样做nIt's not like Mr. Roper's gonna burst in.n房东太太又不会跑来看nI'll just stay on the couch.n我睡在沙发上就行nVickie,he will turn this place...into a den of slack.nVickie，他会把房子弄得乌烟瘴气的nWhat the hell is your problem?n你到底是有什么问题？nI have to work around here,n我要工作nand unfortunately, Troy...n而你呢nyou are a master at the art of time suckage.n你是浪费时间的大师nOh, well, I'm sorry, miss poster girl for the workers party...n噢，好，抱歉，劳动党的封面女郎nbut until I get that toehold in the burger industry...n在我在汉堡业界站稳脚之前nI got a little time to suck.n我还有一点时间可以浪费nI'd rather check into a shelter than deal with her shit.n我宁愿去收容所都好过跟她共处nI know how much you love to mainline in misery here.n我知道你就是喜欢自我沉溺在痛苦中nBut you don't have to.n但你不需要这样nI can get you a job interview at my dad's plant.n我可以帮你联系去我爸爸的工厂去面试nWhat is that?n那是什么？nPart of my lease agreement?n我住在这里的租约的一个条款？nIt's either that or a credit check.n你也可以说是一个信用检查nIt's cool, Troy. n太好了，TroynYou can stay.n你可以住在这里啦nWelcome to the maxi pad.n卫生巾欢迎你nYeah, with the new dry-weave...n对呀，还有最新的干织技术……nit actually pulls moisture away from you. It's good.n它真的能帮你把湿气吸走，挺好的nYou won't even know I'm here.n你不会察觉到我在这里nShould I get married?n我要不要结婚？nShould I be good?n我要不要当好人？nShould I astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and my Faustus hood?n我要不要穿上天鹅绒西装和浮士德头罩去吓唬邻居的女孩？nAnd not take her to movies but to cemeteries and tell her of werewolf tongues and forked clarinets?n带她去墓地而不是去影院，和她说起狼人传说和开叉单簧管？nWhatn"Hey, That's My Bike"...nwould like to do eventually.nas a band...nis travel the countrysidenlike Woody Guthrie.nOr Richard Simmons.nYou know how,nin his commercials...nhow he travels around,nsurprises people jogging.nAs you can see,nI have the occasional run-in...nwith an anti-n"Hey, That's My Biker. "nAnd to those people,nI say nobody...nNobody can eat fifty eggs.n-Lainie?n-Whatie?n啥？nThe next time you make microwave brownies...n下次你再做微波炉布朗尼时nI'd really consider using a microwave.n我有认真在考虑用微波炉nIt's just a thought.n只是一个想法nYou know,n你知道吗nI finally figured out...what your problem is, Dyer.n我终于发现你的问题所在了，DyernWhat's that?n是什么？nI'm not a Pepper?n我不是Pepper？nYou suffer from the philosopher groupie syndrome.n你患了哲学家狂热综合征nYou're this guy with, like, a 180 I.Q...n你这人，有180的IQnten units away from a degree in philosophy...n只差一点就能拿到哲学学位nand you always fall for these dumb groupie types.n但你老是迷恋那些无知的骨肉皮小妞nNow... they are not all dumb.n她们并不都是无知nMost of them are just very, very depressed.n她们中的大多数只是非常、非常沮丧nDo you find me attractive, n你觉得我有吸引力吗nsitting here, eating brownies?n坐着这里，吃着布朗尼nYou do. You're strangely attracted to me right now.n我现在觉得你有一种奇怪的吸引力nYou're oddly, oddly attracted to me.n一种很奇怪、很奇妙的吸引力nIt turns you on, doesn't it?n你现在性奋了？nYou like to watch, don't you?n你喜欢观察，是不是？nCome on.n别这样nCome on! Aah!n别这样啊nHere. Ha ha ha!n过来，哈哈nDon't! Come on.n不，别这样nIt's not funny. Give it back.n一点都不好玩，还我n-Give what back?n还什么？n-Give it back!n还给我！nGive what back?n还什么？nGive the brownies back?n还你布朗尼？n-Aah!n啊n-Brownies, brownies.n布朗尼，布朗尼nOh, I love brownies.n噢，我爱布朗尼nMy name's Lelaina.n我的名字叫LelainanHey, don't!n别！nHey, watch the camera.n来，看着摄像机nDon't throw it at me.n别对着我nThat's not nice.n这样不好nnMr. Gubler, do you have time to take a look...at what I've done here?nGubler先生，你有没有时间可以看看我的作品？nI need my questions.n我要我的问题卡nOh, well, here's the research that I did.n噢，好，这些是我搜集的资料nYou might want to read it...because this guest has quite a history in politics.n你要不看一下……因为这位嘉宾在政治上很有声望nJust give me my questions.n给我问题卡nExcusez-moi.n抱歉n-You all alone?n你独自一人？n-Not anymore.n再也不是了nIf I could bottle the sexual tension...n如果我能将Bonnie Franklin和Schneider之间的性张力nbetween Bonnie Franklin and Schneider...n收到一个瓶子里nI could solve the energy crisis.n我就能解决能源危机nExcuse me.n抱歉nDon't bogart that can... man.n这名男子，请别那么粗暴对待那只罐子n-Are you retarded?n你是弱智吗？n-No. I'm rhyming.n不，我只是为了押韵nIt's not easy.n不容易nSure, I make it look easy.n好吧，我能让它看着很容易nYou guys better not be inhaling.n你们这些家伙最好别nHi.nLelaina, Vickie was just promoted to manager of the Gap.nLelaina，Vickie被提升为Gap的经理了n-Shut up.n闭嘴n-It's not even a big deal.n这没啥了不起的nThe old manager tried to kill herself...by eating a whole pot of poinsettias.n原来的经理自杀了……通过吃一整盆圣诞花nStill, I'm so proud of you.n我还是很为你自豪nWait.n等等nI'll be making four-hundred dollars a week, though.n以后我的周薪会涨到400块nWe're never gonna have rent problems again.n我们再也不用为房租发愁了nTroy, aren't you excited?nTroy，你不兴奋吗？nI'm bursting with fruit flavor.n我兴奋得都爆发出水果味了nYou guys, I just thought of something.n伙伴们，我突然想起一件事nI'm manager of the Gap.n我是Gap的经理nI'm responsible for all those t-shirts...n我要为所有T恤负责任nFrench-cut, v-necked, ribbed, what have you.n法式剪裁、V领、罗纹、诸如此类nDude, I'm in trouble.n伙伴们，我麻烦大了nNo, you're not, Vick.n不，你不会，VicknI know you can do it.n我知道你可以的nI just do not understand why this moment...has to be Memorexed.n我只是不明白为啥要拍下这一刻nSammy, don't you realize?nSammy，你没发现吗？nThis is your one opportunity to play a small part...n这是你唯一的机会nin what is destined to be greatness.n能在这个注定成为巨作的作品中扮演一个小角色nLainie here is gonna revolutionize...nLainie将会变革n"Good Morning, Grant. "n“早安，格兰特”nOh, my god! I'm so sorry!n我的天！我真是有眼不识泰山nI had no idea!n我没想到这一点nLook who's mocking.n看谁有资格嘲弄别人nAll you do around here, Troy...is eat and couchnTroy你在这里，每天做的就是吃、睡、nand fondle the remote control.n以及摸着遥控器舍不得放下nI am not under any orders to make the world a better place.n没有任何命令要我去改善这个世界nWell, then what good are you?n好呀，那你有什么用？nYou're a pathological optimist.n你是一个病态的乐观主义者nYou're pathological.n你有病nOh, would you two just do it and get it over with?n噢，你俩能不能赶紧搞在一起？nI'm starving.n我饿死了nOh!nHello. You've reached the winter of our discontent.n你好，你现在拨进了我们极度不满的时刻nUh... hold on.n嗯，等一下nIt's some Michael character.n有个叫Michael的人nOh.n-Who's Michael?n谁是Michael？n-Let's order a pizza.n我们叫比萨吧nLelaina, if we promise to pay you back...nLelaina，如果我们保证一定会还你钱nwill you spot us a pizza?n你能不能给我们买个比萨？nDon't have any cash.n我没现金nDominoes takes checks.nDominoes可以接受支票nOK, great.n好呀nOK. Bye.n再见nThe owner of Dominoes supports Operation Rescue.nDominoes的店主捐助了拯救会nOh, please. No one gives a shit right now.n现在没人关心这个事情nWe're starving.n我们饿疯了nOh, wait. Wait.n等一下n-Ta-da!n-We're going to eat gas.n我们要喝汽油了nAh!nWho's this Michael guy?n那个叫Michael的家伙是谁？nUm...nHey. Vickie just figured something out.nVickie刚刚有个发现n-What?n什么？n-Something wonderful.n一个奇妙的发现nHa ha ha! Evian is naïve spelled backwards.n哈哈哈，“依云”（Evian）倒过来拼写是“天真”（naive）nUh! Could you turn this up, please?n你能把音量调高点吗？nPlease?n拜托了nYou won't be sorry.n你不会后悔的nThank you.n感谢nRADIO:... When you gonna give mensome time, Sharona?nOoh, you make my motor run,nmy motor runnGun it comin' offnof the line, SharonanNever gonna stop, give it up,nsuch a dirty mindnAlways get it up for the touchnof the younger kindnMy, my, my, i, yi, woo!nHey!nM-m-my Sharona.nCome a little closer, huh?nAh, will ya, huh?nClose enough to looknin my eyes, SharonanKeeping it a mystery,nit gets to menRunning down the lengthnof my thighs, Sharona...nGood times,nany time you need them, babynGood times,nain't no time to be afraidnThelma's husband Keith has gotnvodka hidden in the toilet.nVodka in the toilet.nThat's a good one.nUm... boom boom.nJames Dice.nThat's a two-parter, man.nYou can't do that.nJ.J. works in the chicken shop.nHe works in a chicken shop.nWe did that.nIt's the same one when he has that cape on.nDrink up, man.nYou hate to see thatnhappen to the rookie.nUm... Alderman Davisnjudges a...nOh, my god.n天哪nHi.n嗨nAre you a collection agent?n你是卖保险的吗？nLelaina!nLelaina！nOh! Yeah, I'll be right there.n好，我来啦nOh.nIf you ain't the most hardheaded woman...n如果你不是最精明的女人……nGreat!n棒！nHurry up, hurry up, hurry up.n快点，快点，快点nOh, it's me!n是我！nWillona dates a deaf guy.nWillona跟一个聋子约会n-Good one.n厉害n-Willona dates a deaf guy.nWillona跟一个聋子约会nHow about the one when Gary Coleman comes on...nGary Coleman演过的那个nand he's like the little...like, guy doing that...n他就像那个……n-Yeah, we did that one.n对，我们做过一次n-He was cute, though.n他还挺可爱的n-J.J.'s prom date.nJ.J.的毕业舞会约会n-Gotta go. Gotta go.n要走了，要走了n-Hey. Hi. Hello. Hi.n-Hi.nUm... everybody, this is Michael.n大家，这是MichaelnThis is...n这是……nProm date. Prom date. Go.n毕业舞会约会，走nYou know, we should..n我们应该……nWe should... Yeah.n是，我们应该……nSo, I'm gonna go.n我走啦nBye.n再见nMichael throws a party.nMichael办了个排队nSammy, let's go.nSammy，走吧nLelaina, you know the punishment for premature evacuation.nLelaina，你知道提前撤退的惩罚nPenny! Willona adopts Penny!nPenny！Willona收养了Penny！nShit!nI'm making this documentary...about my friends,n我在拍一部关于我的朋友们的纪录片nbut it's really about...people who are trying to find their own identity...n但它其实是关于那些正在寻找自己的身份认同的人nwithout having any real rolenmodels or heroes or anything.n他们没有模范或英雄可以看齐nWow. That...That sounds great.n哇，听起来很棒nIt seems like your friends would be perfect for that.n你的朋友们应该很适合这个题材nLike, um...n就像nLike that guy Troy...n比如那个叫Troy的家伙n-Troy, yeah.n他是的n-You all done here, sir?n先生，您还吃吗？nUh, yeah. yeah.n对nYou don't want to finish that?n你不吃完吗？nBecause I can..n因为我可以…….nNo, no, no. I'm fine.n不不不，我够了nI had a late...n我下午吃了……nSo, Troy is...n所以，Troy是……nYou guys just...n你们是……nIt's like you guys living there,n你们一起住吗njust the two of you?n只有你们俩？nNo, no, no, no, no.n不不不不nIt's me and Vickie,n只有我跟Vickienbut he got fired from his job...n但他被解雇了nand so he needed a place to crash for a couple weeks.n所以这几周他需要一个地方来过度一下nThey caught him stealing a Snickers.n他被抓包偷了一条士力架nHe stole a Snickers bar?n他偷了一条士力架？nYeah. Ha ha ha!n对，哈哈哈nSomehow he can rationalize it...n但不知怎地，他能将之合理化nlike the establishment owes him a Snickers.n说的好像公司欠他一条士力架nRight, right.n对，对nWell, I mean...n我的意思是……nI guess... you know...n我猜……nYou know, you're very beautiful.n你知道吗，你非常美丽nI mean... I mean, um...n我的意思是……nSeriously, you're..n真的，你真的很美丽.nI'm, uh... I'm, uh... not really good with compliments.n我……嗯……我不是很会处理赞美nUm... but, uh...nUm... Ha ha!nAre you religious?n你信教吗？nUm... Ha ha ha!n哈哈哈nHa ha ha!n哈哈哈nI'm sorry.n抱歉nI guess I'm...n我觉得我是……nI guess I'm, uh...a non-practicing Jew.n我是一个不太虔诚的犹太人nHey, I'm a non-practicing virgin.n嘿，我是一个不太虔诚的处女nWho's this again?n这是谁？nFrampton.nPeter Frampton.nPeter FramptonnFrampton...nI can't believe you don't remember...n我不敢相信你居然不记得n"Frampton Comes Alive. "n“Frampton Come Alive”nThat album, like,totally changed my life.n这张专辑简直改变了我的人生nThe most profound, important invention of my lifetime...n我生命中最伟大、最重要的发明nthe Big Gulp.n特大杯可乐nAnd because, see...n因为，看……nNo, listen.n不，听着nYou get one in the morning.n你早上喝一杯nI'm talking forty-four ouncer, n我说的是44盎司nnot this thirty-two wimpy...n不是这杯只有32……n-Wait a minute. Forty four?n等一下，42？n-Yeah. Forty-four ounce.n对，42盎司nHow can you ingest forty-four ounces of anything?n你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的东西？nHow can you ingest forty-four ounces of anything?n你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的东西？nYou get one.n你喝一杯nYou have your essential vitamins and nutrients...for the entire day.n就能拥有一整天的必需的维他命和营养nOh, yeah. Definitely.n是的，绝对nI'm sure you're totally covered.n我肯定你绝对可以n-You do.n你可以n-Well...I guess it really doesn't take much to make me happy.n我觉得，我很容易就能够感到幸福nHey, I'm not materialistic, either.n喂，我也不是拜金主义的nI mean, I think I'd be working even if I wasn't getting paid.n我是说，我觉得就算没有薪水我也会继续工作nAnd I don't, like, want to get,n我也不是nyou know... a big house.n想要一间大房子nI just want, like, a nice house.n我只想要一间温馨的房子nI'm not into cars and stuff.n我并不迷恋车子之类的nI mean, I like my car.n我喜欢我的车nYou're probably not really not into, like...n你大概并不迷恋nexpensive, snazzy Italian suits, either.n昂贵的、华丽丽的意大利套装n-Oh, come on.n别这样n-I'm just kidding.n我只是开玩笑n-No, no, no.n不不不n-I'm just kidding.n我只是开玩笑nWait a minute.n等一下nI'm not like that.n我不是那样的nI'm really not.n真的不是nI mean... I mean...nI'm... I'm... I mean...n我的意思是……nI know why the caged bird sings and everything.n我知道为啥笼中鸟会唱歌之类的东西nOh, yeah? Why?n是吗?为啥？nBecause he was... in a cage,n因为，它……在一个笼子里nand he was...nI don't know.n我不知道nHe had high hopes or something.n它有很远大的愿望之类的nOK, I dropped out of school...before we got to that,all right?n好吧，在我还没学到这个知识前我就辍学了nI should have stayed in college...and got a degree in astronomy or something.n我当初应该留在大学里拿个学位，在天文学之类的n-Oh, god, I love astronomy.n天哪，我爱天文学n-Really?n真的吗？nYeah. I just...The math, though.n是呀，不过我的数学……nIt was the math that just, like... got me every time.n我的数学学不好nI loved astronomy, too,n我也很喜欢天文学nand I got into class...n我去上了课nand it was like...it was like...neverything was three-squared times pi equals the root of pi.n所有的东西都好像是三次方乘以π等于π的方根nYeah. And I just wanted to look at the stars.n是呀，但我只想看看星星n-It was so...n-Same here exactly.n我也是nI remember being so happy on the roof of our old house...n我记得，在我家的老房子的屋顶njust staring up at the stars.n看着星星就非常快乐nMmm...nI want to do that again.n好想再像当时一样nI want to just...look up at the starsn我只想抬头看看星星nand take the time to...smell the...everything.n闻一闻……nBecause it's like... do you ever have those moments in life...n因为那就像……你是否有过那样的时刻nwhere everything is OK?n觉得所有事情都很好？nDo you know what I mean?n你懂我的意思吗？nJust for, like, one moment,everything is great.n所有事情都很好的一个瞬间nNot since I graduated, no.n不，毕业之后都没有过了nBut yeah... yeah.nWhen you, like, catch yourself in a moment...n当你发现自己处于那样的时刻nand you're saying, wait, I'm happy here in the moment.n你会发现，咦，我这一刻很快乐nRight. And then it just goes away really quickly.n对，然后这一刻就会很快消失n-Gone.n不见了n-It just... It's...nI know I've had a couple of those, you know.n我知道我有过不少那样的瞬间nI always forget them,n我总是会记不得nbut I know I've had them.n但我知道我拥有过nOh, me, too.n噢，我也是nLike right now... is one.n像现在nYeah... like now.n是的，像现在nSINGING:nClouds are stalkingnIslands in the sunnWish I could dry onenOut of seasonnBut don'tnHesitaten'Cause your lovenWon't waitnHey, hey, heynOoh, baby, I love your waynEvery daynWant to tell you I love your waynOoh, ooh, oohnTROY, Ooh, baby,nI love your waynEvery daynI want to be with younnight and daynShh!nSo, you've been up all night?n所以你一整晚都没睡吗？nI am picking up some very strange vibes in here.n我在这里感受到一些非常奇怪的气氛nThey're of the..."I just got laid" variety.n这感觉就像是……“我刚和人睡了”的气氛nDid he dazzle you...with his extensive knowledge of mineral water?n他是不是用他丰富的矿泉水知识令你倾倒nOr was it his in-depth analysis of Markie Mark...that finally reeled you in?n或者是他对Markie Mark的深度分析把你绕进去了？nI just would have liked to have been there...n我真希望能够在场nto watch how you rationalized...n看看你怎样为自己找到合理的借口n跟一个蹩脚的雅痞第一次约会就搞在一起了nsleeping with a yuppy-headncheeseball on the first date.nHe's not a yuppy.n他不是雅痞nHe's the reason why Cliff Notes were invented.n他就是那些经典文摘的买单者nWell, that pales in comparison...to the tweaked-out little skanks you date.n那也总比你约会的那些恶心的火柴妞要好得多nTo hell with it.n见鬼去吧nWhat do I care?n我在乎什么？nWhat do you care?n你在乎什么？nAnd why are you acting...like a jealous boyfriend all of a sudden?n你为啥突然像个好妒的男朋友在发作？nI am not acting like anything.n我没有在发作nI am calmly reading.n我在很冷静地阅读nGod. If something's bothering you that much...n如果有什么事情让你这么困扰nI wish you could just be man enough to talk to me about it.n我希望你能像个男人一样跟我说说nAll right, Lelaina.n好吧，LelainanI am really in love with you.n我爱上你了nIs that what you want to hear?n这是你想听到的吗？nIs it?n是吗？nWell, don't flatter yourself.n别自作多情了nGo to hell.n去死吧nnSince I've been manager here...n自从我当上了经理nour gross has increased over twenty percent.n这里的总收入提升了超过20%nSo...n所以……nWhat?n什么？nOK. OK. Um...n好啦nI guess I'm proud of that.n我觉得我为此感到自豪nOh, please.n别这样nLook at this sweater.n看看这件毛衣nPeople don't know.n人们不知道nThey don't know what it takes.n人们不知道折成这样需要多少工夫nI've never been a good example before...n我以前从来都折不好 nand, um... I've never been good with responsibility.n我也从来都不能承担责任nSo, uh...nI blame my parents, though.n但我责怪我父母nI think I was conceived on an acid trip.n我想我爸妈是磕了药后乱搞怀上我的nMy parents got divorced when I was 5 years old.n他们在我5岁时就离婚了nAnd I saw my father about three times a year after that.n自那以后我每三年才见到我父亲一次nAnd when he found out that he had cancer...n当他发现自己得了癌症之后nhe decided to bring me here..n他带我来到这里.nand he gives me this big pink sea shell...n给了我这个巨大的粉红色贝壳nand he says to me...n他跟我说n"Son, the answers are all inside of this. "n所有的答案都在这里面nAnd I'm all, like, "What?"n我就懵逼了nBut then I realized that the shell was empty.n但后来我发现这个贝壳是空的nThere's no point to any of this.n什么意义都没有nIt's all just a...A random lottery of meaningless tragedy...n生命只是一次随机抽签nand a series of near escapes.n它由一次毫无意义的悲剧的以及一系列的幸免于难组成nSo I take pleasure in the details, you know.n所以我从琐事中得到快感nA Quarter-Pounder with cheese.n一块四分一磅的芝士nThose are good.n很好nThe sky about... ten minutes before it starts to rain.n下雨前10分钟的天空nThe moment where your laughter becomes a cackle.n笑声变成咯咯尖笑的瞬间nAnd I sit back, and I...I smoke my Camel straights.n我坐下，抽一根骆驼烟nAnd I ride my own melt.n我自由自在nCome on. Come on.n来吧，来吧nNo lagging.n别落下了nThe free clinic A.I.D.S. test.n免费的艾滋病测试nThe rite of passage for our generation.n我们这一代人的重要仪式nWe're so lucky.n我们真幸运nCome on.nSo, Vick, why are you getting tested?nVick，你为啥要来做测试？nOne of my friends tested positive.n我的一个朋友被测出阳性nTo be on the safe side...you know.n安全起见nVickie Miner.nWOMAN, LOUDER:nVickie Miner.nYou can forget it.n你能忘了它nCome on, Grant.n别这样，GrantnThat... It's incredible.n真了不起nIt's junk.n垃圾nDepressing junk.n不知所谓的垃圾nYou know my rules for the "Video View"...n你知道我对“Video View”节目的规矩nlight and perky.n轻快和活泼nLook, Lelaina, maybe I should talk to Grant alone about this.n看，Lelaina，也许我应该单独跟Grant沟通一下这事儿nLook, she's got real talent...n她真的很有才华nand I want to put her on staff.n我想给她转正nI will not have Miss Pierce on staff.n我不会让她转为正式员工nI will walk out of here if that happens.n如果她转正，我马上就离开这里nYou watch.n试试看nOK, calm down.n好，冷静一下nIt's no big deal.n不要紧nWe don't have to have her.n我们不是一定要有她nBesides,n还有nhaving to look...at that girl's pointy little face all day...n整天看着那女孩的小尖脸nit would make me ill.n真让我受不了nJust get rid of her...like I asked you to do in the first place.n让她走，就像我一开始跟你说的一样n...I'll get there.n我会的nIf I don't know where to go, I'll get there.n如果我不知道去哪儿，我回去那儿nIf I don't know...n如果我不知道……nTen seconds...n10秒nnine, eight, seven...nsix, five, four...n九，八，七，六，五，四……nIs this a good morning or what?n真是个愉快的早上nHa ha ha! Well, with us today is Libby Kumbaugh...n哈哈哈！今天来到这里的是Libby Kumbaughnthe author of this book..."Mommy, Why Do I Hate Myself? "Self-Esteem for Parent and Child. "n她是《妈妈，我为什么讨厌自己？父母和孩子的自尊》的作者n-Good morning, Libby.n早上好，Libbyn-Good morning, Grant.n早上好，GrantnGood morning! Now, Libby...n早上好！LibbynI'm concerned with self-esteem.n我很担心自尊nPersonally, I've always had an odd preference...for very, very young girls.n就我个人而言，我总对那些特别年轻的女孩有种奇怪的偏好nI...n我nBeing a total prick...n身为一个贱人……n...Iy pear, I...nWhy don't we welcome this audience again, huh?n我们再一次欢迎今天的来宾？nGood morning!n早安！nI make more of a mess than Ruby does.n我比Ruby惹的锅更大nHi. You guys, we have to have a family meeting.n大伙儿，我们来开个家庭会议吧nSomething's happened.n有事发生nOh, no! They've discovered Nutrasweet causes you...to grow a third eye.n噢不！他们刚发现了阿斯巴甜能让你长出第三只眼nLet me just say that everything's gonna be fine.n所有事情都会好的nYeah, it's not a big deal.n没那么大件事nShe'll just wear a patch over it.n她可以戴个眼罩遮住它nI'm working out a plan.n我在制定一个计划nYeah, there's a surgeon in Paris.n巴黎有一个外科医生nHe'll just remove it for free.n他能免费帮忙割除n-Just don't panic.n别慌张n-It's not contagious.n不会传染的nWould you shut up?n你能闭嘴吗？nI just got fired.n我刚被炒鱿鱼了nYeah.nOh, my god.n我的天哪nWhat happened?n发生什么事？nYou got fired?n你被炒了？nI mean, that just screws up my whole idea of good and evil.n这件事彻底摧毁了我对善与恶的判断nIt's not like I had a hysterectomy or anything.n这不是我做了子宫切除手术之类的nI just... I got fired. I'll find something else, you know.n我只是被炒了。我会找到其他工作的nOh, oh, oh, oh, oh!nYou're hired.n你被聘用了！nI need a part-timer.n我需要一个兼职nYou need a job.n你需要一份工作nThat would be so cool.n真是太好了nIt's only, like, five dollars an hour. No big deal.n虽然只有5块钱的时薪，不多nBut it's a pretty good opportunity.n但这是一次很好的机会nYeah, it's a dream come true.n对啊，是梦想成真的机会nIt is.n是的nYou know, Vick, I said I'm working out a plan.nVick，我说我在制定一个计划nYeah.n是的nSo, what's the plan?n所以这个计划是什么？nI'm not gonna work at the Gap, for Christ's sake. OK?n天哪，我不要在Gap工作，好吗？n-No. I mean...n不，我的意思是……n-Oh, no. I'm so sorry.n噢，我很抱歉nOh, how stupid of me to try to drag you down to my level.n我真愚蠢，怎么能把你拉低到我的层次n-Vickie, you don't do this, OK?nVick，你不能这样说话，好吗？n-Shut up.n闭嘴nCome on. This is just...n别这样nYou know I didn't mean it.n你知道我不是那个意思nVickie.nYou see, this is where Troy was fired...n你看，这里就是Troy第11次被解雇的地方nfrom his eleventh job.nHe was an illustrious office cleaner.n他是一名卓越的办公室清洁工nNow if you'll come this way, please...n如果你走这里nwe will continue our short but happy walking tour...of the career of Troy Dyer.n我们将继续回顾Troy Dyer短暂而快乐的职业生涯nAnd here we have the newsstand...n我们来到的这个报摊nwhere Troy dared to ask the question...n在这里Troy勇敢地提出一个问题nAre employee snacks subsidized?n会不会提供雇员的零食？nThe answer... tragically, no.n很不幸地，答案是不nIn total, he has been fired...from... yes, count them...twelve jobs.n他总共被炒了12次鱿鱼nTwelve? Ouch.n12次？哇nSo you shouldn't feel so bad.n所以你不需要感到糟糕nOne of these mornings, I'm going to wake up before noon and...n未来的某一天，我在中午前睡醒过来nHa ha. Yeah, right.n哈哈，对nAnd I'm gonna turn on the TV...n我打开电视nand there Bryant Gumbel will be, and he'll say...n看到Bryant Gumbel主播说n"Today we have with us...n今天我们请来n"the Pulitzer Prize winningn普利策奖纪录片得主Lelaina Piercendocumentarian Lelaina Pierce.n"Lelaina, after your first film,nLelaina，在你的第一部片子“为什么芭比很坏”之后nWhy Barbie Is Bad... "n"You seem to have forgotten all about..."your best friend, Troy Dyer. "n你似乎已经遗忘了你最好的朋友，Troy DyernTroy who?n谁？nWhat was that name again?n名字是什么？nOh, right through the heart.n噢，想起来了nI'll probably be working at the Whole Foods...n我可能会在Whole Foods超市工作nplaying warehouses...n在仓库里无所事事nhanging around places like the Radio Shack...n在无线电公司附近随处游荡nscreaming that I used to know you...n尖叫着我以前认识你nand you'll be there in the lights...n而你会坐在聚光灯下nand you'll be all beautiful and shit.n看起来那么美丽nOh, Troy. No, no, no.nTroy，不不不nThat'll never happen.n这永远不会发生nThey would never hire you at Whole Foods.nWhole Foods根本不会雇用你nYou see, Lainie,n你看，Lainienthis is all we need...n这就是我们需要的na couple of smokes,n抽几根烟na cup of coffee...n喝杯咖啡nAnd a little bit of conversation.n闲聊几句nYou and me and five bucks.n你，我，不需要太多的钱nYou got it.n对呀n-You know what?n你知道吗？n-Hmm?n-No, no, no.n不不不n-What? Troy, I can't. I can't.nTroy，我不能那样做nWhy not?n为什么不行？nYou never thought about it?n你从来没想过这样吗？nWell, yes, of course I have, but I...n我当然有想过，但我……nBut what?n但是什么？nI can't not be friends with you, OK?n我不想失去你这个朋友，好吗？nI don't want that. That's not what I'm talking about.n我不想那样，这不是我说的意思nI'm talking about a...n我的意思是……nyou know, evolving.n进一步发展nI just can't handle this right now.n我现在没法处理这件事nI can't evolve right now.n我现在没法和你进一步发展nWhy not?n为什么不？nBecause of Michael?n因为Michael？nNo. Yeah. Yes. Yes.n不，对对对nMy parents got divorced when I was fourteen.n我爸妈在我14岁时就离婚了nMy dad... the dog...he remarried six months after the divorce.n我爸6个月后就又重新结婚了nWow. That's quick.n哇，闪婚nHow did everybody react?n其他人有什么反应？nUm... my mom threatened to kill herself in front of me.n我妈威胁说要在我面前自杀nPatty got drunk in her closet...every morning before junior high school.n初中以前的每个早上，Patty都醉倒在衣橱里nAnd you?n你呢？nWell, um...nSomebody had to remember to take out the trash...n总得有人记得去扔垃圾nsign the report cards, buy the milk.n签名成绩单、买牛奶nSo, um... that kind of ended up being me.n所以，这就是我nI don't want to get married...n我不想结婚nbecause I see how my parents are.n因为我看到我父母的婚姻nAnd they've been together, like, 26 years...n他们在一起26年了nand they're like brother and sister at this point.n现在他们的关系更像是兄妹nMy mother goes to the bathroom with the door open.n我妈去洗手间时不关门nThat's "A."n这是第一点nAnd "B"... It's disgusting.n第二点，那太恶心了nI don't want any part of that.n我不想那样nI want first kisses.n我要亲吻nI want passion...n我要激情nthe whole way through.n自始至终都要nIt's better than having to kiss your husband's ass all the time.n总比一直给你老公拍马屁要好nYeah.n对nI think that your documentary...would be perfect for "In Your Face. "n我觉得你的纪录片很适合“In Your Face”频道n-See? Forget it.n忘了吧n-No.n不nYou're probably thinking more like, you know...n你可能更想要nP B.S. or something.n比如说公共电视台之类的nNo. No. You known不不nwhat it is, though?n为什么呢？nIt's that I.. Boy.n因为我……nOK, when I made this thing...n好吧，当我一开始拍这个片子时nI kind of made this promise to myself...n我对自己许了个承诺nthat I wasn't going to think about...where it was gonna end upn我不会计划它能变成什么大作品nbecause I didn't want to...unintentionally commercialize it.n因为我不想无意间将它商业化了nNo, I think that's great.n不，我觉得那很棒nI mean, I think you should definitely... not unintentionally do anything...n我的意思是，你觉得不应该无意地做任何事情……nthat you're not comfortable with.n任何令你觉得不舒服的事情nI mean, not that I would intentionally...n我不是说我会无意间……nWell, plus， it's not done yet, you know.n再者，片子还没完成呢nRight. I know. I know.n对，我知道nIt was just a stupid...n只是我一个愚蠢的想法nYou know... I got to go to New York on Wednesday...n你知道，我周三要去纽约nfor this huge network meeting thing...n参加一个大型的电视网络会议nwhich is totally...nGod, you would hate it.n天哪，你会讨厌的nI hate it. I just...n我也讨厌。但我只是nI just thought...that they would freak out over your tapes...n我只是觉得那些人会被你的片子震惊的nbecause they never see anything that's really smart...n因为他们从未看过这么聪明nand has real...you know, quality and is...good, like you and your work...n这么真实的、优秀的东西，就像你和你的作品nand I know I'm being selfish and...n我知道我有点自私nMichael, um...nThat is literally, literally...n这真的是nthe nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me...n从没有人对我说过这么美好、这么甜蜜的话nthe sweetest thing that anyone's ever said to me.nSo, what are you doing for the rest of your morning?n今天早上你还要干什么？nWhat am...nOh, what am I doing?n我要干什么？nWhat am I doing?nOoh. Well, I have a job interview.n噢，我要去面试nLelaina, this thing is from 1988.nLelaina，这东西是1988年的nI know. Ha ha ha!n我知道，哈哈哈nSo you're, like...six years late.n所以你已经迟到了6年nI thought the ad said that this was a job...for a production assistant.n我记得广告里说的这份工作是制作助理nYes. You will be assisting me...in the production of videotapes, all right?n对，你会帮助我去制作录像带nYou're going to make copies for me... many copies.n你要帮我做好多好多副本nOh, is this like a...like a pirate operation?n这里做的是盗版吗？nDo I look like a pirate to you?n我看起来像是一个海盗吗？（英文海盗与盗版是同一个单词）nNow, radio is all instinct, Lelaina.nLelaina，现在的电台已经全都消失了nDo you know where all the radio comes from?n你知道收音机来自哪里吗？nThe gut.It's all in the gut.n来自直觉，全都来自直觉nBecause when you think on your feet...n因为当你站着思考时ngot to go from your gut.n要顺着直觉去走nAnd my gut is telling men而我的直觉现在告诉我nthat, uh...this isn't gonna work out.n你不太适合nMaybe your gut's just saying you're hungry or...n也许你的直觉正在告诉你饿了或者……nOh, no, no, no, no.n噢不不不不nIt's telling me that, uh...you're overqualified for this job.n直觉告诉我，你做这份工作是低就了nI'm really not that smart.n我真的没有那么聪明nNo offense, sweetie,n亲爱的，没有冒犯的意思nbut you don't have...any experience on a newspaper.n但你完全没有做报纸的经验nYou're TV.n你是电视人nWell, I'm trying to make my transition to print journalism.n我正尝试要转型到纸媒nAh. Why?n为什么？nWell, newspapers are the last watchdogs...of our... our government.n纸媒是政府最后的监督者nThey enforce the checks and balances.n保证三权分立nAnd one half-hour of TV only adds up to...n半小时的电视节目就能达到……nOK. All right. Define irony.n好了，解释讽刺的定义nIrony. Uh...Irony.n讽刺，嗯，讽刺nIt's a noun.n是一个名词nIt's when something is...ironic. It's, uh...n当一些事情是讽刺的……nWell, I can't really define irony...n好吧，我没法说出讽刺的定义nbut I know it when I see it!n但当我知道怎么使用这个词nHey. Hey.nOh, my god.n我的天哪nI've never been so glad...to see anyone in my entire life.n见到你真高兴nThis day has been the biggest nightmare.n今天真是一个巨大的噩梦nI mean, these job interviews, Troy...n这些工作面试nthe word vivisection, a staggering understatement.n解剖每个词的意思，nCan you define irony?n你能说出讽刺的定义吗？nIt's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite...from the literal meaning.n讽刺就是当实际含义跟字面意思完全相反nYeah. My god.n是啊，天哪nWhere were you when I needed you today?n当我那么需要你时你在哪儿？nI... I should go.n我，我要走了nOh, come on. Isn't there some statute of limitations for embarrassing incidents?n别这样，尴尬事件总会过去嘛？nYour bravado was embarrassing.n你的逞能才令人尴尬。nHey, Troy, come on.nTroy别这样。nYou can stay with me for one cigarette.n留下来陪我一起抽根烟。nI know you can stay with me for one cigarette.n我知道你能留下来陪我抽根烟。nYou, me, five bucks, good conversation. Right? n你，我，喝着five bucks，愉快的聊天，对不对？nLainie...nTroy, you haven't been home in four days.nTroy，你已经四天没回家了。nI mean, where have you been sleeping?n你都睡在哪里呢？nI got to go.n我要走了。nMom, I need to talk to you about a loan.n妈，我想跟你借笔钱。nIs it for drugs?n你吸毒了？nNo. No, it's not for drugs.n 不，不，我没吸毒。nI was f...I lost my job.n我只是失业了。nBut you shouldn't have any trouble finding another job, sugar bugger.n但你去找份新工作应该完全没问题呀，宝贝。nNo. See, I tried.n不，我已经尝试过了。nI applied for every single opening in my field but there's just...n我应聘过所有对口专业的职位，但……nThere's nothing right now.n现在都没成功。nHmm. Well...then I hate to say it but times are hard.n我只能说，时势艰难nYou're just gonna have to swallow your pride.n你得收起你的骄傲。nWhy don't you get a job at Burgerama? They'll hire you.n你为什么不去汉堡店呢？它家肯定会请你的。nMy lord, I saw on the TV they had this little retarded boy working the cash register.n我在电视上看到他们甚至还请了个弱智的小男孩当收银员呢。nBecause I'm not retarded, mom.n妈，我不是弱智。nI was valedictorian of my university.n我是我们大学的优秀毕业生。nWell, you don't have to put that down on your application.n你不用写在你的申请表上呀。nMiss Pierce, do you have any idea what it means to be a cashier at Wiener Schnitzel?nPierce小姐，你知道在“维也纳炸牛排”店当收银员要干什么吗？nYeah. It's, uh... taking orders and making change, and, uh "thank you. "n知道，就是，点菜、找钱，还有，说“谢谢”nNo. It's a juggling act.n不，你还得会变戏法。nA juggling act? You mean, like, metaphorically?n变戏法？你这是个比喻吗？nNo. I mean, you got people coming at you from the front， coming at you from the back, from the sides， people at the condiment exchange， people at the drive-thru, kids on bikes，and they're all depending on who?n不，我的意思是，你的前面有人、后面有人、边上有人，调味料台边有人、汽车通道有人，还有骑单车的小孩。他们都要依靠谁？n-Me?n我？n-Yeah. You got time to lean, you got time to clean, buddy. All right?n没错。你要自己找时间去偷懒，还得找时间去清洁。nYou got to be 150 percent on your toes 150 percent of the time.n你要在加倍的时间里加倍留神。nThere you go, sir.n这边请，先生。nAnd have a 'tude, wiener dude.nnAll rightie.n好啦。nOK. I'm going to throw a few numbers out at you and you put them together in your head as quick as you can.nOK，现在我说几个数字，你要以最快速度加起来。n-OK?n-OK.nEighty-five and forty-five. Go.n85加45是多少？nOne... forty?n一百…四十？nNope.n错。n-One... fifty?n一百…五十？n-Nope.n错。n-One-sixty?n一百六十？n-It's not an auction.n我们不是在拍卖。nMiss Pierce, there's a reason I've been here six months.nPierce小姐，我能在这里呆6个月是有原因的。nWEATHERMAN:nFor the entire summertime...noccurring in one day.nThen last night we hadnsnow reports in Utah.nToday reports of I-70...nRoyalton Hotel.nOh, hi.nIs this the Royalton Hotel?nThat's what I said.nOh, sorry.nI didn't hear you.nI'm looking for a guest there.nHis name is Michael Grates.nHold one moment, please.nThat guest is out.nWould you likento leave a message?nOh... no. That's OK.nI'll just try again later.nThanks.nHi. I'm Cheryl Goodenand welcome to "Wedgie"...nthe world of hip couture.nThis week, we'renin south-central Los Angeles...nat the intersectionnof Florence and Normandy...nthe flashpoint of fashion.nThe phattest gangsta trendnwill increase your peace.nThis bandanna by Donna Karin...nis blue for Crips,nred for Bloods...nand only costsnseventy-five dollars.nLainie, have you seenna pack of guitar strings?nI have to bring themnto the club.nYou know,nI hope he knows...nthat he still has tonpay some rent around here.nI mean... Ha ha.nI don't know where he thinksnhe's spending his nights, but...nDo you know?nI'm late for a jean-foldingnseminar. Let's locomote.nNow you can callnyour own personal psychic...nanytime 24 hours a day...nthanks to the nationwidenPsychic Discovery Network.nYou can pick up the phonenand talk directly...nwith an establishednprofessional psychic...nin the privacy of your own home.nI was unhappy in my career,nand I needed a change.nBut I didn't know what to do.nIt's just that nothingnis going down according to plan.nI mean, my best friend...nI feel like I'venlost him forever...nand he was likenmy touchstone, you know.nWOMAN ON TELEPHONE:nThis man...ndoes his name startnwith the letter "N"?nBecause I'm gettingna very strong "N" vibration.nNewsstand.n"N," newsstand.nHe used to worknat a newsstand.nUh-huh.nOh, god.nThis is unbelievable.nHoney,nthat's not all I'm getting.nThere are peoplenI know from high school...nwho are already marriednand having babies.nI mean, babies, OK?nI can't even take carenof a Chia Pet.nWell, honey,nI didn't have kids...nuntil I was onnmy third husband.nOh, really?nAll Geminis.nYou knownwhat I think, Tanell?nI think you stillnreally love Monty.nYeah,nyou're probably right...nbut it don't matter now.nOh, yes,nit does, Tanell.nI know you're afraid,nbut you've got to find him...nand you've got to tell himnhow you really feel.nFind him? I got...nLelaina.nWe need to talk to you.nHold on, Tanell.nHold on.nI'm on the phone.nYeah, I can see that...nand we have a four-hundrednand six dollar phone bill...nmainly due to some callsnto a 1-900 number.nLelaina,nI'm so seriously troubled...nListen, we'd help younout, but we're broke, too.nAnd you know we can't affordna new deposit...nif the phone gets shut off.nMaybe you could borrownthe money from Michael.nNo, Sammy. Jesus.nLainie,nwhat are you doing?nWhat are you doing?nYou lay on that couch all day.nThose pajamasnare like your uniform.nYou run up a four-hundred dollarnphone bill.nYou watch TV.nYou chain-smoke.nYou don't go outside.nYou don't do anything.nMan, you are in the bell jar.nLook, this is my apartment.nI signed the lease.nI let you move in here when younhad no job, no money...nand you sponged off menfor two months!nSponged? Uh-huh.nAnd now Miss Big Power Marm...nMiss "I'm managernof the Gap now"...nyou think you can just comenin here and push me around?!nShe's not being pushy.nSammy, what are you evenndoing here? You don't live here!nHey, my littlenunemployed waif...nyou're the one who's lookingnfor work now, OK?nGod, you're reallynenjoying this, aren't you?nYou're high.nWhy don't you go take a walknoutside and get some fresh air?nYou've been waiting for thisnsince the day we met.nWho told you that?nYour psychic partner?nI'll tell you the problemnwith your generation.nYou don't have any work ethic.nNow, you take your friend Troy,nfor example.nI went out of my way to set upnan interview for him...nand he didn't evennbother to show up.nThat wasn't his fault.nHe asked me to call and cancel.nAnd everything was going on.nAnd it slipped my mind.nAnd I'm... sorry, but, you know,nI have a work ethic, dad.nI have a very strong work ethic,nyou know. Ask anyone.nThen all you got to donis show some ingenuity, hmm?nDarling, I love you, and I hatento break your plate...nbut you got to grow up sometime.nNow, I want you to go out therenand show me some ingenuity, hmm?nLet me talknwith you, my babynIt is bad to saynthat maybenIt is time for younto say wenCame to sharena point of viewnLiving in the never-nevernDropping out of here togethernI could spend some timenforevernWith a girl like you,nlet me hear you saynLet's go, oohnYou want to turn it in,nturn it into heaven, yeahnLet's gonOoh, ooh, oohnYou want to turn it in,nturn it into heaven, yeahnRight here on earth.nLooking for tomorrownCan you see us one day?nBeg or steal or borrownWe could live forevernNever to say nevernYou will be for menI will fight for you, nownLet's gonOoh, ooh, oohnYou want to turn it in,nturn it into heaven, yeah...nWell, that solvesnour first problem.nRent's due this week.nWell, well.nLook who finally decidednto grace us with his...nPresence.nThis is...nThis is, uh, Jean.nJanine.nUh, Janine. Janine.nIt's a little loud in the club.nExcuse me.nCan't stay here, Troy.nI'm just gonnanpick something up.nWell...nMission accomplished.nNow leave.nI think maybenI'm gonna wait...nAlways the mistressnof etiquette, huh, Lainie?nJust out of curiosity...nwhy are you suddenly actingnlike a jealous girlfriend?nAll right. We're justntrying to pay bills here, OK?nSo, Troy, if you gotnany money...nMoney? Oh, but what'snmoney to an artist?nTo a philosopher?nIt's just green-colored paper...nthat floats in and outnof his life like snow.nIt's nothing you actually havento, I don't know, work for...nis it, Troy?nNo, not if you havendaddy's little gas card.nYou shut up!nYou shut up! I busted my assnto find a job, any job!nYou don't even bothernshowing up for interviews!nWhat is it that you wantnfrom me? Huh? What is it?nYou want me to get a jobnon the line...nfor the next 20 years,nuntil I'm granted leave...nwith my gold-plated watchnand my balls full of tumors...nbecause I surrendered the onenthing that means shit to me?nWell, honey,nyou can just exhale...nbecause it's not gonna happen,nnot in this lifetime.nAll right, fine!nYou don't want to work, fine!nLainie, goddamn it!nYou want to be a band,nthen be a goddamn band!nRehearse every day!nPlay every night!nPlay three times a night!nDon't just dick around the samencoffeehouse for five years!nDon't dick aroundnwith her or with me.nI mean, try at something,nfor once in your life!nDo something about it,nbut you know what?nYou better do it now,nand you better do it fast...nbecause the worldndoesn't owe you any favors...nand whethernyou know it or not...nyou're on the inside tracknto Loserville, U.S.A...njust like him.nOK. It's justntoo psychotic in here now.nAll right, Lelaina,nlet's go for a walk.nFine.nCome on, man.nLet them go.nWith pleasure, my friends.nWith pleasure. Ha.n"With pleasure"? You knownwho I really feel sorry for...nis that poor girl.nOh, how about when he sneaksnhis laundry in with ours?nIt's like I'm pullingnthat stuff out of the dryer...nand there's five pairsnof his boxers...nI just washed unknowingly.nNo, I'll just throw itnback in his face.nYeah, like I'm gonnando his laundry. Yeah.nHe's weird. He's strange.nHe's sloppy.nHe's a total nightmarenfor women.nI can't believenI haven't slept with him yet.nDo you ever wishnyou were a lesbian?nDon't you think it would benso much easier?nSometimes, but...nNah. I couldn'tngo through with it.nI'd start laughingnor something.nBut it's such a shame...nbecause I amnso through with men.nIf one more guynwalks out on me...nI don't even know what.nI swear.nWhat are yountalking about...nWalk out on you?nYou walk out on them.nI've seen you.nYou're out the doornbefore the condom comes off.nListen to me, I'm justnbeating them to the punch.nOK.nYou don't even knownI'm sitting here...nmaybe...nProbably dying of A.I.D.S.nAnd I'm totally alone.nVickie...nWell, uh...nyou're not alone.nHey. Look, I'm sorrynfor everything I said...nand I'm sorrynfor being such a bitch...nbut I have to tell you,nyou're not alone.nYou're not, and you're notndying of A.I.D.S.nYou don't understand.nEvery day, all day...nit's all that I think about, OK?nEvery time I sneeze...nit's like I'm four sneezes awaynfrom the hospice.nAnd it's like it's not evennhappening to me.nIt's like I'm watching itnon some crappy show...nlike "Melrose Place"nor some shit, right?nAnd I'm the new character.nI'm the H.I.V.-A.I.D.S.ncharacter...nand I live in the building,nand I teach everybody...nthat it's OK to be near me,nit's OK to talk to me...nand then I die...nand there's everybodynat my funeral...nwearing halter tops and chokersnor some shit like that.nVickie, stop, OK?nJust stop.nYou're freaking out,nand you know what?nYou're gonna have to dealnwith the results.nWhatever they are, we're gonnanhave to deal with them...njust like we've dealtnwith everything else.nThis isn't likeneverything else.nI know that, all right?nBut it's gonna be OK,nyou know?nI know it's gonna be OK.n"Melrose Place"nis a really good show.nWOMAN ON LOUDSPEAKER:nLelaina Pierce.nIs there a Lelaina Pierce here?nYeah.nHello.nLelaina?nHa ha! Hi!nLook, I had toncall you right away.nListen, listen.nDon't kill me, OK?nWhat? What?nI took the tape,nand I showed it.nNo.nWait, wait, wait. Listen.nThey freaked out.nThey want to buy them.n-No.n-Yes.nThey liked it?nNo, no. I mean, they, like,npsychotically loved it.nThey want to pay you for it.nI know this isn't P B.S.,nbut is this OK?nYes! I was this close to sellingnfruit at intersections.nWell, don't, all right?nDon't.nJust hang on, and I'm gonnanget you some money...nand I'm gonna be down therenin a few days...nand I just...nI'm just, like...nI'm thinking about younevery second here.nHello! Hello! Hello!nHello! Can you hear me now?nWhere are you?nI'm in a phone booth.nWhy are younon a cellular phone?nI don't know.nI have no idea. I'm just...nMichael, Michael, Michael,nI... I really miss you!nI really miss you, too.nI love you. Oh! Whoa!nI mean... I mean...nyou amaze me.nNo! You amaze me!nHello?nCan you hear me?nMichael, I'm losing you.nI'm gonna call you back.nWait. What?nPay phone outside...nalways amazes me.nHey.n"Try me. I'm free. "nGood mag. Good mag.n-Negatory.n-Yeah! All right!nDid you hear that?nNegative!nHere. Let me see that.nHey, hey! All rightie!nThanksnfor the help, Lainie.nA celebration zoom.nOK. Enough.n-Ma!n-I'm right here, son.n-Ma.n-Yeah?nI have to tell younsome... thing.nI am... a... homo... sexual.nOh, Christ. Is there a supportngroup that I can join...nto help me come to termsnwith my own homophobia?nYes, there is...na group which is namednP F L.A.G....nParents and Friendsnof Lesbians and Gays.nOh. Oh. P F L.A.G.nI'm beginning to likenthe sound of that.nWhat you've just witnessed herenis a preenactment...nof events that arenabout to take place.nWell... I came out to her, and...nshe's stillna little bit upset.nBut you know...nYou know, I thinknthe real reason...nthat I've been celibatenfor so long...nisn't really because I'mnthat terrified of the big "A"...nbut because I can't reallynstart my life...nwithout being honestnabout who I am and...nSAMMY ON TAPE:nI want to be in there, too.nI want to feel miserablenand happy and all of that.nI mean, I...nI want to...nI want to be let backnin the house.nHello. Oh, hi.nUm... sorry.nJust... the door was...nSo I just, um...nYeah, she's getting dressed.nGreat.nI'll just...nOh, I, um...nI don't know if she told you...nbut I just came backnfrom New York...nwith the tapes that she made,nand the stuff of you...nit's really...nit's really great stuff.nReally. That whole...nthat whole thing about...n"Nobody can eat all the eggs,"nthat was...nthat was really...nI was quotingnCool Hand Luke.nYeah. That's OK.nI mean... That's... I know.nIt's... I mean... You know...nIt's still... It's...nHi.n-Hi.n-Hi.nWhat happenednto your normal clothes?nWow!nLelaina, look at you.nYou look...nWhere'd you get that dress?nOh, um... I don't know.nI just bought it.nBut I think I'm gonnango change because...nNo, don't.nYou look beautiful.nYou look like...nYou look like...nA doily.n-I'm gonna change.n-No, don't change.nAnd don't go thinkingnfor yourself either, Lainie.nHey, what is your glitch, huh?nMy "glitch"?nYou know what?nWe're already late.nNo, no, no, no.nHang on a second here.nDo you have, like, a problemnwith me or something?nBecause if you do, let's justnget this out, all right?nSeriously, is there, like...nI mean, have I, like, uh...nstepped over some line innthe sands of coolness with you?nBecause.. Because...nNo, no, no. Excuse me...nif somebody doesn't knownthe secret handshake with you.nThere's no secret handshake.nThere's an I.Q. prerequisite,nbut there's no secret handshake.nI... This is... You... No...nThis guy... you've got this wholenthing with the world.nDon't you? Huh? That's great.nThat's really wonderful.nBut guess what.nI'm a human being, OK?nWe're human beings,npeople, OK?nWe're not, like, intelligencenquotations or whatever.n-Just ignore him.n-No!nDone.nCome on. Let's go.nYou don't need this.nYou don't knownwhat she needs.nI think I know what she needsnin a way that you never will.nLet's go.nBaby, tell menthat my love ain't goodnI don't treat you right,nI don't do you like I should...nListen,nthat's got to be back here, OK?n-Hi.n-Hi.nSo, you ready?nWell, what's it like?nI mean...nIt's great. It's great.nI mean, I haven't actuallynseen it yet...nbut we had our best guysnworking on it...nand, you know, we just putnsome titles on...nand shaped it a little bit.nIt's gonna be great.nOK.nOK, OK.nOK. Thanks.nOK, everybody,nit's a special night...nbecause, as you know,nwe're entering into...na new phasenhere at the channel...nreal programming.nAnd our first stepnis this remarkable piece...nby Lelaina.nSo hang on, becausenthis is going to change...nthe facenof "In Your Face. "nWhat's this?nIt's just transitional stuff.nMAN, SINGING:nLa la la-la lanThe story of my lifenWe're finished!nSINGING:nSchool's out forevernI am not under any orders tonmake the world a better place.nAnd you wondernwhy we never got involved.nSINGING:nSchool's been blown to piecesnSINGING:nLove can make you weepnI don't want to get married...nbecause I seenhow my parents are.n-My parents got divorced...n-My parents got divorced...n-When I was fourteen.n-When I was five years old.nMy mother actually goes tonthe bathroom with the door open.nI swore to myselfnI'd never get married.nI want passion.nLet's talk aboutnsex, baby, let's talk about...nTurns you on, doesn't it?nBrownies!nWould you two just do it and getnit over with? I'm starving.nOh, my god.nLELAINA, ON VIDEO:nBut the question remains...nHow can we repairnall the damage we inherited?nI was told there'd benno math on this exam.nCan I change my answer?nThe answer is simple.nWe're on a roadnto nowherenJesus.nThe answer is...nThe-the-the answer is...nPizza!nPizza.nPizza. Ha ha.nOh...n-It's, um...n-Yeah, right.nWe're on a roadnto nowherenBut here we gonLelaina.nLelaina, look. I'm sorry,nall right? I didn't know.nThat was not my work, Michael.nThat's not what I did.nThat's not what I want.nIt had nothing!nI can't believenI trusted you!nI had no idea!nI didn't see it!nI mean, look. I guess it wasnprobably a little slow...nand they cut it upna little...nCut it up?nThey cut up everythingnthat meant anything to me!nI mean, I don't even thinknyou realize what you've done.nYou don't get it.nYou just don't get it!nI do get it!nLook. It just...nIt's, like, you haventhis great piece of work...nand we have this audience,nthese kids...nand it's like trying to feednthem meatloaf or something...nand they don't want toneat it, right?nSo you have to give them, like,n"Here comes the plane.n"It's coming into the hangar.nOpen up the hangar. "nBut it's still meatloaf.nIt was never meatloaf!nThat's a bad...nI just...nLook, I'm sorry, all right?nThey were just tryingnto market it.nAnd I wish I couldnbe perfect, OK?nI wish I could be like Troy...nriding on his meltedncheese sandwich and everything.nDon't you dare bring Troyninto this.nHey, I wishnI could be like him.nI wish I could livenoff of creeds and mottoes...nand all that shit,nall right?nBut I'm in the real worldnhere, OK?nAnd I have ideals also.nThey're that I...nI care about you...nand I wantnto make you happy...nand I'm...nI just...nLook...nI'll make them takenthe pizza thing out, OK?nI'm just a billnYes, I'm only a billnAnd I'm sitting herenon Capitol HillnWell, it's a long,nlong journey to...nHow'd the big premierenturn out?nFine.nThey were justnvideotapes, right?nWho cares? Ha ha.nI just workednso hard on them, you know?nI worked so hard.nAh, forget it.nI just sound pathetic.nNo, you don't.nYou don't sound pathetic.nYou know, I knownit sounds stupid...nbut it really meantnsomething to me.nI know it wasn't gonna,nyou know, end world hunger...nor, you know,nsave the planet...nbut it just meantnsomething to me.nI just don't...nUnderstand why things just can'tngo back to normal...nat the endnof the half-hour...nlike on "The Brady Bunch"nor something.nWell, because Mr. Bradyndied of A.I.D.S.nThings don't work out like that.nI was really gonna be somethingnby the age of twenty-three.nHoney, all you have to benby the age of twenty-three...nis yourself.nI don't knownwho that is anymore.nWell, I do.nAnd we all love her.nI love her.nUh...nShe breaks my heartnagain and again...nbut, uh...nBut I love her.nI've wanted you like thisnfor all these years.nHey.nHi. Ha ha.nWhere are you going?nI have rehearsal.nAt 8:24 in the morning?nYeah. Ha ha.n-So... that's it?n-No.nNo, that's not...nIt's not it.nI just... I, uh...nI have to go.nGot a party mama,ngot a cokehead dadnI'm the ultimate inversion,nthe American mannDon't feel good,nbut don't feel badnIt's me, you see, I'm nuthin'nI ain't left, I ain't rightnI feel so alonenBefore I was born,nI was all gonenDon't even make sensenthat I wrote this songn'Cause...nTell me it's not true.nTROY, SINGING:nIt's me, you see, I'm nuthin'nI'm nuthin'nNuthin'nThat's menI'm nuthin'nLainie, sex is the quickest waynto ruin a friendship.nCome on.nThank you.nWe'll be right back...nwith a new American cheesensnack idea.nYou got a phone call.nLelaina.n-Hi.n-Hi.nDon't say anything, all right?nLook, I screwed up, all right?nI know.nI should have protectednyou and your work...nand I didn't,nand I'm sorry.nI'm so sorry that I didn't.nAnd I want to make thisnup to you, OK?nYou mean so muchnto me, Lelaina...nand I just...nLook, two tickets,nall right, New York.nWe go, and we give themna presentation...nof the shownthe way you want it done.nMichael, I don't...nI know. I know,nbut this time is different.nI mean, who's the boss, huh?nHuh? Tony Danza? No.nI don't think so.nIt's you.nIt's your show,nand I just...nI just... you know,nfeel like maybe...nI deserve another shot here.nWell, hi, Lelaina.nHi.nWhat, is there a frognin your throat...nor are you just gladnto see me?nHi, Mike. Thanksnfor coming down, man.nNo hard feelings.nLelaina, you're lookingna little peaked.nYeah. Are you OK?nShe's fine.nShe's fine.nShe's just hadntoo many Diet Cokes today.nYeah, this girlnis cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.nHa.nSo, are you gonnantell him, or am I?nCould you excuse me?nCould I talk to you?nHi.nYou want to tell me whatnthe hell he's doing here?nI wanted to talk to you.nWhat the hell do you care?nYou totally bailed on menthis morning.nI panicked. It happens.nI thought we couldnwork it out, you know.nI mean, I don't know if nownis the right time for us.nLook, I meant everythingnthat I said to you last night.nDon't look at me like that.nDon't look at me like that.nThat's not what I'm saying.nI'm not saying I...nLook, you are the only woman...nthat I could everncommit myself to.nSo what?nDo I get a medal?nI win the big commitmentncook-off, and you just run away?nI knew this was gonna happen!nI knew this was gonna happen!nI don't want to lose you.nI've never been in an experiencenlike this before.nI've never had sex with somebodynthat I loved before.nOh, well, congratulations,nTroy Dyer.nWelcome to the worldnof the emotionally immature.nIt's a really nice placento visit.nHey, you may run into Michael.nHe lives here.nOh, yeah, right. Michael.nMichael. He's so mature...nbecause he lets you navigatenthat entire relationship.nWell, I'm sorry, Lelaina,nbut you can't navigate me.nI might do mean things,nand I might hurt you...nand I might run awaynwithout your permission...nand you might hate me forever.nAnd I know that that scaresnthe shit out of you...nbecause I'm the onlynreal thing that you have.nYeah? Well, that ain'tnreal much.nOne, two, three, four.nHey, Troy, man, you're on.nMichael, I'm sorry...nListen, I'm sorry, all right?nThat's what this is all about.nThis one's for you, Lainie.nWhy can't I get just one kiss?nWhy can't I get just one kiss?nYou told me there'd be somenthings that I wouldn't missnBut I looked at your pantsnAnd I need a kissnWhy can't I get just one screw?nWhy can't I get just one screw?nBelieve me, I'd knownwhat to donBut something won't let menmake love to younWhy can't I get just one ah?nWhy can't I get just one ah?nOh, nice job. Very well done.nReally good.nI don't want to hear itnfrom you.nYeah? Well, I forgot I'm notnqualified to talk to you.nI'm sorry I can't be Mister...nHey, look at me.nI'm Buddha on the mountaintop.nYou know what you are, man?nYou what what you remind me of?nYou're like that guy,nyou know, with the...nwith the hat and the bellsnand the little, you know...nThe court jester.nYeah, right. Where everything'snso easy to laugh at...nfrom a safe distancenback in Clever-Clever Land.nYou know what happens to him?nThey find his skull in a grave,nand they go...n"Oh, I knew him,nand he was funny. "nAnd the guy, the court jester,ndies all by himself.nWhere'd you hear that,na Renaissance festival?nBesides, everyone diesnall by himself.nIf you really believe that...nWho are you looking fornout here?nSINGING:nYou say you wantnDiamonds on a ring of goldnYou say you wantnYour story to remain untoldnBut all the promises we makenFrom the cradle to the gravenWhen all I want is younYou say you'll give menA highway with no one on itnTreasure just to look upon itnAll the riches in the nightnYou say you'll give menEyes in a moon of blindnessnA river in a time of drynessnA harbour in the tempestnBut all the promises we makenFrom the cradle to the gravenWhen all I want is younHello.nHello?nSINGING:nAll I want is younAll I want is younAll I want is you...n-Hey, Lainie. This is Lance.n-Hi.nUm... I just need to knownif he's OK.nHuh?nOK. All I know isnhe went back to Chicago...nalone.nI'm not supposednto know that, am I?nShit.nShit.nHi.nI was wondering if I could talknto you for a minute...nbefore you go.nSee, the thing is that, um...nWell...nmy dad died.nOh, god, Troy. I'm sorry.nI'm so sorry.nNo. It...nWhat happened was that, um...nI kind of got this arcanenglimpse at the universe.nAnd the best thingnthat I can say about that is...nI don't know. I...nI have this...nthis planet of regret...nsitting on my shoulders.nAnd you have no idea how muchnI wish that I could go back...nto that morningnafter we made love...nand do everything different.nBut I know that I can't, so...nI thought that I would come herenand tell you something.nAnd what I wanted to tell you...nwas that I love you...nand, uh... just wanted tonmake sure that that was clear...nso that there wasn'tnany confusion.nUm...nSo, anyway, uh...nWhere are you going?nI was going to look for you.nWhat for?nJust... wanted to seenif you were OK.nWell, I hadna shitty week, you know.nA froggy wentna-courting, and he did ridenWith a sword and a pistolnby his sidenUh-huh, uh-huh, mmm-hmm-hmmnWell, he rode right upnto Miss Mousie's door...nTROY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:nAt the beep...nplease leave your name, number,nand a brief justification...nfor the ontological necessity...nof modern man'snexistential dilemma...nand we'll get back to you.nUh, Lelaina,nthis is your dad.nGive me a callnwhen you get this.nI need you to explain something.nI just got a nine-hundred-dollarnbill on my gas card.nIf we should fall,nlove will catch us every timenI hear you call,nI will runnAnd if the magicnof the adventure overcomesnWe won't cry,nbecause it could be funnWhat I'm trying to do isnconstantly find those people...nfind out what makes themnthe best and bring that...nTired of getting razzesnfor being bald?nI'm only a young man.nNo more datesnwhere I've been called old man.nRoy, why are youndoing this to me?nI know we can be happy together.nYou'll chill in time.nRight now, I need someone...nwho understands what my musicnand the band mean to me.nBut it's just music, Roy.nI'm a human beingnwith deep feelings...nwho feels things deeply.nMusic is feeling, babe.nThe band may be a small dream,nbut it's the only one I've got.nI'm Audi 5000.nPlease don't let himnget drunk and drive.nSINGING:nWon't be very longnTill I'm going, going, gonenYou saynI only hear what I want tonYou saynI talk so all the timenSo?nAnd I thoughtnwhat I felt was simplenAnd I thoughtnthat I don't belongnAnd now that I am leavingnNow I knownthat I did something wrongn'Cause I missed younYeah, yeah, I missed younAnd you saynI only hear what I want tonI don't listen hard,nI don't pay attentionnTo the distancenthat you're runningnOr to anyone, anywherenI don't understandnif you really carenI'm only hearing negative,nno, no, no, nonNo...nSo I turned the radio on,nI turned the radio upnAnd this womannwas singing my songnThe lover's in love,nand the other's run awaynThe lover is cryingn'cause the other won't staynSome of us hovernwhen we weep for the othernWho was dying sincenthe day they were born, wellnWell, this is not that,nI think that I'm throwingnBut I'm thrownnAnd I thought I'd live forever,nbut now I'm not so surenYou try to tell menthat I'm clevernBut that won't take me anyhownOr anywhere with younYou said that I was naive andnI thoughtnthat I was strong, nonI thought, hey, I can leave,nI can leave, thoughnBut now I knownthat I was wrongnBecause I missed younYeah, I missed youn nn

只是疯狂地找Ethan的片子，特别是Before Sunrise那个时期的，比如这部。
发型都没怎么变。这种不羁的大学毕业生如此栩栩如生似乎不需要任何演技。
这种故事似乎很老套，好朋友和男朋友。但是何尝不是至真至纯的爱情？
He said:"Nobody can eat 50 eggs"

He said:"Just out of curiosity,why are you suddenly acting like a jealous girlfriend?"

He said:"Well,honey,you can just exhale,because it's not gonna happen,not in this lifetime."

He said:"There's an I.Q.prerequsite,but there's no secret handshake."

He said:"You don't know what she needs."

He said:"Honey,all you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself."

He said:"I wanted you like this for all these years"

He said:"Besides,everybody dies all by himself."

He said:"What happened was like that...I kind of got this arscane glimpse at the universe,the best thing that I can say about that is...I don't know,I...I have this...this planet of regret sitting on my shoulders.And you have no idea how much I wish that I could go back to that morning after we made love and do everything different.But I know that I can't,so I thought I would come here and tell you something.And I wanted to tell you was that I love you.And..uh..wanted to make sure that that was clear,so that there wasn't any confusion."

那一些故作深沉的话，和那一些有点结巴的有点胆怯的话。
只是话而已，和Ethan，就够了。

用理想与现实的碰撞、成年生活的残酷和无法实现的美好之类堂皇的命题做幌子神马的，最讨厌了。有本事就真的把青年的热血和梦想的重量无法征服的东西血淋淋地切开了给大家看，那样虽然影片结局大概会让人堵心好一阵，但是总不至于有鱼鲠在喉、上当受骗的不悦感。不是我不承认爱情的伟大，但是老老实实地告诉大家刚出巢的小鸟在风霜里挣扎、刚离窝的小狮子在烈日下挨饿是个多令人扼腕但是多普遍发生的事实总比以牺牲整个故事和所有次要人物为代价讲一个并不算精彩深刻的爱情故事来的要有诚意一点吧。

好吧我吐槽严重了，是我不对，但是看到一个挺有想法的好题材就这么一头栽倒在平庸的泡菜坛子里等着捂臭发霉，就算是一时满腔激愤头脑发热了，你又怎么能完全怪在我头上呢。

Ben Stiller是个奇怪的人，父母是红极一时的喜剧二人组，生下来就终日浸泡在荒腔走板愤世嫉俗但变本加厉地精巧有趣的犹太幽默世界里，从小在纽约上层社交圈里长大，凭着父母的关系结识名流无数，二十出头开始在好莱坞打拼，一路受到诸位前辈提携，不到三十岁已经俨然是“烂仔帮”不可或缺的头目之一。虽然闯出天下是靠喜剧，但是纽约上层中产阶级的精神追求在Stiller心里种下的根基无疑更为深厚，他显然没有忘了好莱坞灯红酒绿之外在百老汇度过的美好时光（二十五年后重演The House of Blue Leaves就是最好的证明），也没有忘了贴着“中产阶级审慎魅力”标签的文艺青年风。于是1994年，在电视圈混迹几年之后的Stiller迫不及待地执起了电影导筒，推出了这部处女作。

本片的制作过程并不顺利，这么一部反映X一代生活的电影在当时被认为是毫无市场前景的赔钱货，于是各大制片厂纷纷对Stiller和编剧Helen Childress关上了方便之门，直到当时红透半片天的玉女代言人Winona Ryder表示了主演本片的意愿之后环球才勉强同意接手。好不容易动工之后，拍摄进程也并不顺利，各种drama不断，有兴趣八卦的可以去IMDB或者WIKI翻翻看，——里头又牵涉到Gwyneth Paltrow，前女友阿姨您真是腥风血雨体质……不，等一下，那时候还不是前女友！！！还不是前女友啊喂！！！那时候她还勾搭着年轻英俊清瘦可人的RSL！！！……咦我肿么昏头了我刚在说什么来着，——总之在一系列勾搭与反勾搭之后，Ryder拉来了她花痴的对象Ethan Hawke，Hawke又拉来了好基友Steve Zahn，再加上一个Stiller不待见但是怎么赶也赶不走的Janeane Garofalo（她后来去SNL待了一季，Ratatouille里小厨子的女朋友还是她配的音呢），一套班子总算凑成了。

平心而论，大部分卡司的表演还是不错的，娘舅和玉女都不过二十出头，既年轻漂亮又经验老道，再加上Ryder对娘舅“没他就没我”式的信任，两人之间的化学反应十足，随便一个镜头都电力十足到能噼里啪啦冒出火花子来。娘舅真是适合演这种闷骚隐忍的没谱文艺男，就算不说话，那一双委屈含情的蓝眼睛也足以做出七八分的戏来；而那时候的Ryder演了一路吸引眼球的古典美女，又因为The Age of Innocent刚刚拿过奥斯卡女配提名，演个不谙世事的纯真理想少女绝对是举重若轻；Zahn和Gerofalo倒是全都过了25岁，不再是片中人物的年龄了，但是反正他们的人物也没什么实打实的戏份，所以也并无违和感；导演兼配角的Stiller在表演方面表现中规中矩，也就是平常喜剧里那副窝囊好人样，而且说实话他这个人物……也没什么根本的重要性。

于是这就引到情节了，有了好的卡司和不错的题材，要坏就一定坏在重点错误上。本来好好一部讨论成长阵痛的电影，残酷青春倒莫名其妙地给烂俗的爱情故事做了背景，实在让人搞不明白。既然片名明摆着想要告诉观众Reality Bites，那最后现实的血盆大口到底哪儿去了？我能看到的只是好女孩和坏小子所谓妙不可言的爱情：他们一开始只是互存暧昧的好朋友，她带着他去跟父母吃饭，他搬进她的公寓暂住，她失败了，他鼓励她，她找了男朋友，他醋意大发从她的生活里消失，她怅然若失地找他回来，一场伪文艺的翻云覆雨之后有逃避有彷徨但是最终还是阳光灿烂的喜剧结局，连让人揪心一个半小时的能不能适应现实社会的天大疑问都在两人的忘情拥吻中化为了泡影。我的天，这简直比言情小说还要头脑简单，我就算是再依然相信爱情，也总明白爱情并不是医治一切的灵丹妙药，现实的创痛只有面对现实才能解决，粉红色的泡泡躲得了一时，但真的躲得了一世吗？还有因为过于着重于两个主角的情感戏，把更有意思的配角线抛到九霄云外的问题：Zahn的人物向父母出柜之后被赶出家门，Gerofalo不敢承诺却又害怕孤独的心病，难道不值得多花笔墨？尤其是Zahn的人物本来可以拉出很有意义的一条线来，有关他的情节却莫名其妙支离破碎，实在是有点太可惜了。

不过还是要肯定Ben Stiller的处女作的，至少能得到C以上的分数——在剧本的框架内（或者更可能是制片厂的掣肘下），他的演员们献出了不错的表演，整个片子的剧情进展也还算流畅（虽然有刚才提到的支线剧情不完整问题），片子既没有超长也没有超支，这就已经算是圆满完成任务了。尤其是Stiller对正剧的经验其实并不多，这样已经算是很不错了。几年之后娘舅也会献出他的导演处女作Chelsea Walls，而不能不提的是Chelsea Walls也许叙事并不清晰、节奏把握并非优秀，但是论起风格来……还是要比这部明显得多了。演员当导演，咱不就图个不当艺匠么是不是。

总之，不是我有多么仇恨爱情喜剧，我只是不满意打着严肃电影的幌子把情节简单化、弱智化；这是一部有潜力但是缺少开发的电影，不过如果你喜欢娘舅或者玉女，还是值得看一看的。